president Bush is Right

And just in the nick of time. Tomorrow, a consortium of scientists from nations all over the globe, including the U.S. are releasing a report which states categorically that global warming is real, is caused by man-made pollution, and will have devastating effects for the next few hundred years, and those are their conservative estimates. After years of saying that the jury is still out on Global Warming, Mr. Bush has finally acknowledged that we are the cause of this global climate change. Wow, finally. Now we can start to do something about it.

Well, no, not so much. For you see, though he now acknowledges that it's our fault (and by our, I mean mankind...this is not all the United States' fault) he doesn't think that we should be limiting our greenhouse gas emissions. That would be incredibly inconvenient to industrial polluters pulling in record profits and those jackasses who don't care how much gas costs, they just want to drive their Hummers. But you know what, he's right. You see, the problem is not that we're polluting too much, but too little. At this rate, it'll take decades, maybe centuries, for all of the polar ice to melt. If we speed up that process, then sea levels will rise, salination will decrease, and oceanic currents will change thus sparking a new ice age. Believe me, no one will be complaining about summer heat death and tropical storms when the summer temperatures are below zero. Plus, frozen glaciers from here back to Asia will open new trade routes, as long as you've got a sled. China is an emerging market, and we should take advantage of that, especially since, with their growing energy needs, they have been even more insistent than the U.S. that there should be no greenhouse gas emmissions caps.

Good job, George. You are of the same mind as a communist dictatorship. So, let's get to work on swinging this climate pendulum the other way. Once we jump start a new ice age, you won't hear any hippie liberals complaining about global warming. In fact, they'll be begging for it.