There's a Socialist in my Soup!

“The Democrats are indeed marching America toward European-style socialism.”

That was written by the Chairman of the Republican National Committee, a party so inclusive that it even allows anarchists like the Governor of Texas to be a member; a man who clearly is unfamiliar with the actual historical meaning of the word “Republic” since he rejects the sovereignty of a duly elected government that he disagrees with. But yes, Michael Steel is just one of many on the right who are trying to scare the American people with the current fashionable buzzword of misdirection: SOCIALISM. This word has become so overused that some Republicans are even suggesting new labels to be used, like Fascist, because they think people have become desensitized to or may even embrace socialism. Again, though, they seem to be unfamiliar with the fact that all of these words have definitions (in dictionaries and everything!)

Tricking people with names is really the only thing the Republican party is capable of, though. Freedom fries. Death tax. Compassionate conservatism. No Child Left Behind. All of these are entirely meaningless, giving you an impression without actually telling you anything about what they are describing, and upon closer inspection, you learn that their labels are often the opposite of what they pretend to be. It’s like these people have grabbed the English language and will waterboard it until it confesses to whatever definitions they tell it to say. In their minds, you can change names and words and make them mean whatever you want… like MAGIC!

So now, since the Democrat in the White House and the DemocratIC party in the Congress are facing growing public approval, they want to rebrand them. You know, when Blackwater came under fire for shooting civilians in Iraq, they rebranded their own company in the hopes that people wouldn’t notice that this new company was exactly the same as the old one that did all that horrible stuff. It takes an extra layer of gumption to decide that you’re not going to rebrand yourselves when you’re unpopular, and instead try to rebrand your opposition in the hopes of bringing them down with you. The RNC is trying to pass it’s on meaningless, symbolic, internal resolution to rebrand the Democratic Party as the “Democrat Socialist Party.”

First, let’s just get this out of the way: We don’t go around calling them the Bush Party or the White Business Interest Party, yet they constantly try to change the name of the “Democratic Party” to the harsher sounding “Democrat Party.” It’s like when someone gives you a crappy nickname and never calls you by your given name… an experience I’m sure most of them have had, so they really should know better.

But aside from that, why do they keep harping on this? I’d say that it’s not true, that Democrats are not, in fact, leading our country towards socialism, but anyone who thinks that labeling Democrats as “Democrat Socialists” is a valuable contribution to our society is also impervious to reason, so I won’t bother. Let’s pretend for an instant that the Democrats really were going to make our country more like European countries. I certainly don’t want that, but is that really the best argument for evil intent that they have. EUROPE? I could understand if they were saying the Democrats were leading us towards Somalia-style government; that would scare the crap out of people. But European socialism?

Have they been to Europe recently? Some of the strongest economies in the world are in Europe. The average lifespan in most European countries surpasses that in the United States. Europe leads us in renewable energy production, in air and water quality. Their money is worth more than ours. If ever there was a capitalist argument, it’s that one. THEIR MONEY IS MORE VALUABLE. It’s like we are using Pesos, that we cart around in wheelbarrows to buy a loaf of bread.

The fact is that even the so-called European socialist aren’t even socialists. Yes, they do have many social welfare programs, and things like nationalized energy or health care in some places. For the most part, though, they are Democracies and Republics just like ours, with capitalist markets. The only difference is that they tend to regulate these markets more, which is why while we’re in a deep economic depression, some of them are doing fairly well considering.

So stop it, Republicans. You’re embarassing yourselves. Because not only are the Democrats not socialists, but neither are many of the Europeans you’re comparing them to. And if they are, then that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, because we’ve seen what you’re ideology has given us… 2 wars that have outlasted World War II, and the deepest depression we’ve had since World War II. No thanks.