Hippies Need to Take a Bath

Sometimes I think all people could benefit from working in certain fields, like the service industry, so that maybe when they went back to their normal life they wouldn't be total a-holes to cashiers at Best Buy. I think people could also benefit from working in advertising so that they could learn a few things about selling ideas.

I took Katherine Harris to task for trying to get people to vote for her by calling non-christians immoral legislators and saying that God chooses our rulers rather than, as is the common misconception, the people choosing our leaders. Seems like a bad sales pitch to me.

Well, far worse than that and far more insidious is the sales pitch from the firm of bin laden, Gadahn, and al-Zawahiri. Their latest video release (don't they have DVDs in those caves?) features al Qaeda's "second-in-command" (which I think might be the title of everyone in al Qaeda) as well as an American-born, FBI-wanted member of everyone's favorite terrorist organization. In this video they once again encourage everyone to embrace Islam and are even inclusive enough to invite former Bush and Blair supporters/emloyees to join in all the Islamic fun. For 48 minutes on this tape they talk about just how great Islam is and what it has to offer ("...all for one low, low price...but wait! There's more!") And then, to top it all off they add: "Decide today, because today could be your last day."

As if the actions of al Qaeda and the fact that they are a bunch of muderous hypocrites who live in caves and slums wasn't already enough to turn people off their personal brand of Islam, we also get the added barrel of a gun stuck in our face. Why not just say "Behold the Glory and Love of Allah...or else motherf*ckers!" Most people in marketing would tell you that people don't respond well to threats (especially not explicit ones). It reminds me of the time I was at Blockbuster and the clerk told me "You can rent 'Bring It On' for just $1.99. You really should, because otherwise I'm going to rape your family." Religious beliefs are deeply rooted, based on a lifetime of indoctrination, personal experiences, and introspection. It's not the sort of thing that people change or abandon overnight, and certainly not when they are being threatened. If you wanted people to convert to Islam, maybe you could go into some of the ways it is similar to their present beliefs, and some of the ways it promotes morality or tranquility. Instead, they decided the best pitch they had was that if you don't turn your back on a lifetime of faith, then you're going to get blown-the-hell up. Well, I'm going to tell you right now, people ain't buying, and you should probably just give up with your tapes. People are so afraid of everything now from immigrants to fast food that you're not scaring anyone any more than they already are, and you certainly aren't making any converts. All you're doing is pissing us off more, and everybody knows you don't pick a fight with a big, fat drunk.