There's a Communist in my Soup

A recent article in Child magazine listed J.K. Rowling as one of the 20 people who have changed childhood forever, stating that her Harry Potter series has entertained children and instilled a love of reading in them that extends beyond her own books. In many ways, fiction author Bill O'Reilly has done a similar service for the Fox "News" crowd, teaching them that you don't need facts or consistancy to write or enjoy a book. My dad is already camped out for the Monday release of Bill's latest yarn, "Culture Warrior" wherein he identifies all of the people that are destroying America...minus all of the people who are actually trying to destroy America such as terrorists or leaders who violate our own Constitution and civil liberties.

For instance, who is "enemy number one" according to Mr. O'Reilly? You guessed it, Osama Bin Laden. Oh, wait, no, he's not an enemy to American culture. I was wrong. Enemy number one is George Soros. He's a real left-wing nut job who finances crazy, liberal initiatives like scholarships for Black students in apartheid South Africa and defeating communism in Poland and Czechoslavakia, though I'm sure those aren't the reasons he's enemy number one. It might just have to do with the fact that he's a progressive who gave a lot of money to organizations who attempted to defeat George W. Bush in the last election. Luckily, Bill O'Reilly is an "independent" and wouldn't base his decision on something so partisan.

Also high up on the list of people destroying America with their progressive secularism are the liberal press, including the New Orleans Times-Picayune, the Houston Chronicle, and The Denver Post even though all three endorsed George W. Bush for president. Damn liberal newspapers, always trying to get Republicans elected to the highest office in the land. What sinister plot do they have planned? But, it's true, because it's in a book. Another new fact that Bill was kind enough to invent for us all to know is that liberal newspapers outnumber conservative papers 10 to 1. He doesn't cite any source for this
"fact", but it FEELS true, especially when I hop on the subway and everyone is reading Rupert Murdoch's liberal New York Post (oh, if you don't live in New York, you might not get the sarcasm that the New York Post is what you would get if Fox News and The National Inquirer made sweet love).

I could probably spend hours writing about all of the falsehoods in his book wherein he makes up things that people never said or takes things entirely out of context, not to mention the things he says which are just stupid, but honestly I have a broader point to make. He's not the first one to write a "book" about the "culture war", in which he tells us that George Clooney, Barbara Streisand, Michael Moore, and Alec Baldwin are trying to murder baby Jesus in his crib. The concept of the Culture War is inherently flawed and mostly a political wedge, but if you are going to talk about people destroying our wholesome, Christian, Capitalist culture, are the biggest enemies really Al Franken and Bill Moyers (who, by the way, he refers to as "fanatical" which, if you've ever seen Bill Moyers is like calling a lump of clay "fanatical")?

How about the people at his own network who have further sensationalized and polarized news like when they displayed banners such as "Taking cheap oil from Hugo Chavez: Act of treason?" on their broadcasts? How about the folks at American Idol who are dumbing down our children and our culture with shallow, vindictive, and cookie-cutter personas?
Who is hurting our culture more: George Clooney who makes a thoughtful movie about Edward R. Murrow that not many people see, or the people who make movies like Jackass and Texas Chainsaw Massacre which tons of people see? Well it must be George Clooney, because even though Johnny Knoxville teaches people that it's funny to watch a man take a baseball to the groin or to make fun of fat people and midgets, at least he doesn't do something horrible like talk about politics in front of people.

This isn't about people attacking American culture; it's about people attacking the Conservative movement, and those are most definitely not the same thing. When Bill O'Reilly hears someone on the radio with a liberal viewpoint, he thinks to himself "this man is a traitor and a lunatic". When I hear someone on the radio with a conservative viewpoint, I think to myself "I disagree with this person". Then, there are the people like Bill and Rush and Sean Hannity who I hear and think "these guys are liars and hypocrites and are lowering the level of public discourse." The threat to American culture and American values is not differing opinions, but blowhards who create false culture wars to distract from real issues.

Bill, I know you are "independent" and "a washington outsider" and "a journalist", but let me clear up a few things for you. First off, secular progressives are not trying to kill Christmas, and if they were, they are doing a terrible job of it because everyone I know got presents last year. Second, nobody cares about Barbara Streisand's opinion on anything, so the only way she is a threat to our culture is with her music. Third, the idea that there is a "liberal" media is laughable considering the fact that the majority of media outlets in radio, print, and television are owned by giant corportations mostly run by conservatives like your buddy Rupert, and also since for every Al Franken there is a Bill, Rush, Sean, Michael Savage, and 5 other conservative pundits. Yes, so some newspaper editors are liberals, but not every editor and the majority of newspapers do not have a liberal slant.
And, just to round this off, stop telling tales out of school, because no one is buying.

This past week on his show, Bill O'reilly mentioned how his publisher prevented liberal news organizations from getting advance copies of his book, but guess where I read excerpts of your book? That's right, liberal news organizations. This week he also mentioned on air that the FBI came to Fox "News" headquarters to inform him personally that he was on al Qaeda's hitlist, a "fact" that was then disputed by other people at Fox and the FBI who said he's not on any list and that the FBI never went to Fox News and told him anything. So, if you want to give us your opinions about why The Passion of The Christ is better for our country than The New York Times, go right ahead. But try not to make up so many lies and try not to insult people for being name-callers and then call them "cowards" and "far-left zombies".
You really are making our culture glitter like a diamond.